Thoughts and Ideas

The Issue

For the past year, I’ve been the “woman with the issue of blood,” to put it mildly. To put it less mildly, I’ve got a period that stops for a few days a month, and that’s all I get. I get a couple of days of freedom from the constant mess and all the glorious sensory experiences that accompany it. It’s gross, it’s embarrassing, and it’s my life right now.

Why is it embarrassing? Am I choosing to be yucky? Was it based upon my preference? Did I make the wrong move and now this is what happened to me? Not exactly, right? It’s just something I’m going through. For the most part, there’s very little choice involved in this. Which products will I buy to try to cover up the evidence of this “issue”? That’s pretty much it.

But I’ve recently discovered that if I’m in ketosis, my “issue” stops. So I’m cured, right? Not exactly, because even when I have all the items I need to live a keto lifestyle, I keep failing in this eating pattern. I tell myself that this mouthful of plantain can’t really hurt, or this corner of a piece of bread. And here it goes again. Why don’t I put into practice what I know? I’m so frustrated with myself.

I’m up at 4am because I’m practically bleeding out. My body is just having a party with this horrible process, and it’s forcing me along for the journey. I’ve been worried that if I fall asleep, I’m going to end up fainting in my sleep and scaring my family. I’m not afraid of dying, but if I don’t wake up in the morning right away, they’d probably call 911 and it would probably be terrifying for the little ones. So here I am, wide awake, and I can feel my body gearing up for another big spurt. And I don’t want it.

Apple peel. It was apple peels today. I was doing pretty good until I decided that I could eat some apple peels with peanut butter. Now, before this whole thing got connected in my mind, and before I knew that my keto diet could help with the “issue,” I used to eat that all the time during keto. It didn’t keep me from steadily losing a clothing size every few months. In fact, I’m down from a size 22 to a size 14-16 jean. That’s amazing to me, considering that I’d pretty much given up on ever being under 200 pounds again. It’s exciting to have found a way to unlock weight loss. However, it’s no longer just about losing weight.

Now, it’s about stopping this “issue of blood,” from raining down yuckiness into my life. It’s about starting over. So, I’ve got to face something that is very hard for me. I’m going to have to discpline myself more than I have been doing lately. It’s time to get myself back on track. Ketosis, here I come!

Is there an area of your life where you’re slacking? You know what to do to fix that situation, but you simply don’t make the moves necessary to do it. That’s been my modus operandi my whole life. It’s how I roll. I research, find the answer, and then shelve the entire thing because implementation is my weak spot. But today, I’m recommitting myself to making a change for the better. Because God gave me a path out of this darkness, and I’m going to take it. In this time of COVID-19, take my hand and let’s make positive changes that will mark our lives for good. Will you join me?